we're blogging at a bar
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i believe in u and ur pee
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
