Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
