Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
