Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
