Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
