that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
