How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
