is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
