Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
