just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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