How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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