just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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