How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
