Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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