I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize