hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
