A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
