Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
