I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
