Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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