Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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