wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I came so hard my ears popped.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
