i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
