are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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