I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
