New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
