new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
