The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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