Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
