Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
