dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
