i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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