absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
