So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
