I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
