The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
