She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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