Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
