It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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