lets start a swedish sibling band together
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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