better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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