You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
