awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
