Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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