Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
