Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
