hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
