My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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