He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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