So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
