they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
