can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
