Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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